Many parents involved in BJJ want to get their children involved in the sport as well and one of the first questions that arise is how to make sure they stick with it. It’s not something that’s unique to this sport either, the idea of the over-involved parent trying to live vicariously through their child is a tale as old as time. It’s only natural to want to be able to share something important with your children, but it’s important not to veer over the line into being a pushy parent. Fortunately, there at least 5 ways to help your children stay involved with Jiu-Jitsu as they grow older without having to force them into it.
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5 Ways To Keep Your Children Involved In BJJ
Allow Them To Pursue Other Hobbies
BJJ is a fantastic hobby that can help children develop in to healthy adults with a love of exercise and the ability to defend themselves. It cannot however, make them a well-rounded adult. That only comes from being allowed to pursue whatever hobbies attract them and being presented with options that suit their interests. It’s also pretty easy to get burnt out constantly doing the same thing day after day, year after year. Many children have fallen in love with Jiu-Jitsu only to turn into a teenager who simply can’t be bothered to do it any more, or an adult who doesn’t know how to function without it. Encourage them to find other things that they love so that they look forward to training rather than dread it, and so that they stay on the right path even if they can’t train.
Remember That BJJ Should Be Fun For Children
A lot of the children who fall out of love with the sport do so because their parents or even their coach pushed them too hard to succeed. It’s easily done too, because adults have the ability to see the bigger picture where children can’t. When you see a child who’s already far ahead of their peers and only getting better by the day, it’s easy to see the ADCC world champion in 10 years time and forget that they’re still just a child today. Children shouldn’t feel any pressure to succeed in BJJ, or in any endeavor, because the stakes that make that pressure worth it for adults simply aren’t there yet. Them losing in a local IBJJF open at yellow belt won’t make a difference to their potential career at all, so they should learn to love BJJ for the game that it is rather than taking the competitive side too seriously.
Realize That They Are Not You
Maybe you are known for your wrestling and your child loves to pull guard or maybe you’re a former world champion and your child doesn’t enjoy competing, none of that actually matters. It can be easy to look at this little person who looks just like you and reminds you so much of you at that age, and completely forget that they are not actually you. They are their own person with their own thoughts and feelings, and they will follow their own path in life. Parents of children in BJJ need to be at peace with that right from the start and not try to push them to follow in their footsteps, all that will do is drive them away from the sport entirely.
Give Them Help, Not Force
Children are often lazy and starting BJJ doesn’t fix that instantly, people are hard-wired to take the path of least resistance and children are no exception. There will be days that they say they don’t want to train when that isn’t actually the case, a little encouragement and guidance can go a long way in those moments. There will also be days that they really don’t want to train and it’s clear that they really do mean it, so forcing them to do something that they won’t enjoy isn’t the answer. Perfecting this balance in general is one of the hardest parts of being a parent but being the person who is closest to your child also gives you the best chance of getting it right.
Understand That BJJ Will Always Be There For Your Children
This is probably the most important aspect of having children involved in BJJ and the only real way to ensure that they stay involved in the sport. There will be times when your child falls out of love with the sport and this could last weeks, months, or even years. That doesn’t mean they’re gone forever and Jiu-Jitsu is never out of reach in the modern era. No matter where they go or what else they become involved in, there will always be a place to train BJJ within a reasonable distance and they’ll always be welcomed back. If parents can use their ability to see the bigger picture to be happy with leaving the door open for a return, children are more likely to come back on their own terms and will do it because they truly want to rather than because they feel like they should.
Conclusion
There’s no real guaranteed way to make sure that your children stay involved in BJJ throughout their life, nor should there be. They are their own person and they should be free to pursue whatever interests them, and free to enjoy Jiu-Jitsu in any way that suits them. Even with all the raw talent imaginable they don’t have to be the best grappler in the world, they don’t have to win an IBJJF World Championship, and they don’t even have to ever get a black belt. Paradoxically, it’s only by coming to terms with that at the very start that parents can actually improve the chances that their child enjoys the sport and sticks with it in whatever form they choose.