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Home Features

15 BJJ Jokes For The Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Dad

Phil Jones by Phil Jones
February 6, 2023
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BJJ Jokes Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Dad
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The Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu dad is a staple of every BJJ gym and makes up a huge chunk of the membership, and everyone knows that there’s nothing dads like more than great jokes. In the twenty-first century the majority of casual comedy is done through the use of memes, and there’s plenty of accounts that work hard to bring you the best BJJ memes every day. When it comes to being a father nothing beats some classic dad jokes though, and there’s plenty of those to go around in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu as well.

15 Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Dad Jokes To Take To Your BJJ Gym

  1. What’s a cow’s favourite type of grappling? Moo-Jitsu!
  2. What did the zero say to the eight after BJJ class? Your black belt looks a little tight!
  3. When I first started training I turned up to a BJJ tournament and they asked me to join in because someone dropped out. I told them that I’d barely trained and I didn’t have a clue about any of the rules! The organizer replied ‘no problem, in that case you can be a referee instead’.
  4. How many black belts are there? A Brazilian.
  5. A BJJ black belt is arrested for speeding. When the case is taken to court, the judge asks why he doesn’t have a lawyer with him. ‘I don’t need a lawyer’, says the black belt, ‘I’m an expert in self defense’.

  6. What’s Wolverine’s favourite BJJ position? X-Guard!
  7. What kind of car do BJJ black belts drive? A Rolls-Royce!
  8. I actually managed to use my BJJ skills to win a 5-on-1 fight the other night. It was hard at first but once I managed to take him down, we won pretty quickly.
  9. What’s the easiest way to beat a fly in a BJJ match? Use Spider guard!
  10. God and the Devil are planning a BJJ tournament and God asks ‘How are you even expecting to win, we have Helio Gracie, Carlos, and all the greats on our side?’. The Devil smiles to himself and says ‘we have all the refs’.
  11. Why do Horses lose every Jiu-Jitsu match? Because they’re always getting mounted!
  12. A man starts choking on his food at a restaurant and his wife shouts ‘please help, does anyone know how to stop him from choking!’. A man runs over and says ‘I’m a BJJ black belt, I know all about it!’. ‘That’s great! She replies, ‘what should we do?’. He pauses for a minute… ‘Just tell him to tap?’

  13. What do you call a BJJ match between Iron-Man and Captain America? A super-fight!
  14. I’ve always thought that the gi looks like pyjamas, so I wore mine to bed last night. It didn’t work though because every time I started to go to sleep, I tapped instead.
  15.  What do you call a Snake struggling to eat a Hippo? An Anaconda Choke!

 

Tags: BJJ HumorChildren's BJJ
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Phil Jones

Phil Jones

Phil originally started Jiu-Jitsu back in the late 90s before transitioning to Judo and Karate, eventually making a return to BJJ in 2017. Phil fell in love with martial arts through the early UFC events and has even competed at an amateur level himself.

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